Beth is now old enough to remember her dreams in the morning - I never realized when she started understanding the concept of dreams and suddenly she is talking about them- and I am sure the day is not far off when she will leave us behind to pursue them.
Well for now, she dreamt that her dad and Kumar uncle (the kids fav uncle, currently working in Austin) have come to pick her and brother from school. Generally Kumar uncle and Maiya (my current name) are the only people to visit them so she expected that Maiya would also come since Kumar uncle is there. She is very sad that Maiya was not able to make it, probably because of visa. And then they get into the car and come home and SURPRISE, Maiya is there waiting for the kids! She feels soooooo happy.
Thank you God, for letting me feel this kind of love in my life.
Yes, she understands all about visa issues!
"Surprise" is always uttered in the proper tone - these American kids have a high sense of drama.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Hurt
Read recently in some book (do not remember the name now):
Let me tell you how it is. It hurts. It hurts so badly that you think you'll go mad. But you don't. You just have to live with the knowledge every second of every minute. Every hour of every day. For year after soul-destroying year! You've no idea how endless a minute can be when you're trying not to think!
Does it ring a bell - esp the last sentence?
Let me tell you how it is. It hurts. It hurts so badly that you think you'll go mad. But you don't. You just have to live with the knowledge every second of every minute. Every hour of every day. For year after soul-destroying year! You've no idea how endless a minute can be when you're trying not to think!
Does it ring a bell - esp the last sentence?
Monday, February 25, 2013
F.T. #9 - The Big Wide American World of Gadgets
One of the big differences in office stationery here is that people use pencils a lot. I assume that pencils are popular because they have always been present on equal footing with pens in the stationary cabinets of all offices I have worked in although I haven't actually seen a lot of people using them. Recently I switched to using pencils - enticed by the bunch left on my desk by the previous occupant. I finally gave in to the temptation of using them and then realized that pencils are high maintenance - you have to keep them sharpened. Well, I went the stationery cabinet to get a sharpener and try as I might, I could not find one. Now that was very surprising - my company is in the publishing business so we have always dealt a lot with books and there are hundreds of office products - ranging from all kinds of highlighters, paper cutters, paper punchers, heavy duty staplers - it seems as if we are equipped to write the book by hand, edit, print, bind the book - all in our premises.
So, it was very very weird that I have boxes full of pencils, erasers but no sharpener. I would not give up. Since we have so many office products, they overflow the stationery cabinet and are spread over a full shelved wall. I spent a LOT of time going over all cartons, boxes, etc. Finally, I spied a black gadget the size of a very big stapler. I had passed it over in my initial perusal, assuming it to be a stapler but a small tunnel on the side facing me caught my interest on closer inspection. I picked it up and turned it this way and that and I realized that it was - AN ELECTRIC SHARPENER.
Here's a picture for your appreciation:
You connect it to a power source and insert the pencil head into the tunnel kind of thing at the front. As soon as the pencil goes in, the motor begins to whir and rotate, shaving off the wood. This model is $20 on the staples site.
Really? Electricity to sharpen a pencil? I racked my brains and to my extreme frustration, I could not think of even one good business case for spending 20 bucks for an electric sharpener. Why not get a box of individual sharpeners and allow each person to do their own sharpening? After all, I cannot imagine any scenario where one person would need to sharpen hundreds of pencils and hence a machine to make the job efficient.
But what do I know? I am from a third world country where civilization is still eons behind. I cannot appreciate the fine things in life. Maybe some day I will ask some 'developed' American for enlightenment on this conundrum.
P.S. I remember my sister telling me about electric sharpeners after her first US trip. I had refused to believe that such a thing could exist and for a long time I just assumed that she was pulling my leg.
P.P.S - I do not remember if there were pencils in the India office but I do know for sure that there were no electric sharpeners! I do not remember the London office unfortunately.
P.P.P.S - The American way of life will come to a STANDSTILL if they lose power. They should have a reality show where they are sent to Indian villages, or cities, for that matter since power situation in cities is not that much better.
So, it was very very weird that I have boxes full of pencils, erasers but no sharpener. I would not give up. Since we have so many office products, they overflow the stationery cabinet and are spread over a full shelved wall. I spent a LOT of time going over all cartons, boxes, etc. Finally, I spied a black gadget the size of a very big stapler. I had passed it over in my initial perusal, assuming it to be a stapler but a small tunnel on the side facing me caught my interest on closer inspection. I picked it up and turned it this way and that and I realized that it was - AN ELECTRIC SHARPENER.
Here's a picture for your appreciation:
You connect it to a power source and insert the pencil head into the tunnel kind of thing at the front. As soon as the pencil goes in, the motor begins to whir and rotate, shaving off the wood. This model is $20 on the staples site.
Really? Electricity to sharpen a pencil? I racked my brains and to my extreme frustration, I could not think of even one good business case for spending 20 bucks for an electric sharpener. Why not get a box of individual sharpeners and allow each person to do their own sharpening? After all, I cannot imagine any scenario where one person would need to sharpen hundreds of pencils and hence a machine to make the job efficient.
But what do I know? I am from a third world country where civilization is still eons behind. I cannot appreciate the fine things in life. Maybe some day I will ask some 'developed' American for enlightenment on this conundrum.
P.S. I remember my sister telling me about electric sharpeners after her first US trip. I had refused to believe that such a thing could exist and for a long time I just assumed that she was pulling my leg.
P.P.S - I do not remember if there were pencils in the India office but I do know for sure that there were no electric sharpeners! I do not remember the London office unfortunately.
P.P.P.S - The American way of life will come to a STANDSTILL if they lose power. They should have a reality show where they are sent to Indian villages, or cities, for that matter since power situation in cities is not that much better.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Special 26
After my review of Race 2, I was advised to watch Special 26. After I said that I had already done so and had really loved it, I was scolded (and rightly so) that I wrote a bad review and am delaying writing a good one. So, here goes a good review and an interesting incident after the show.
Niraj Pandey is good - very good. He has proved that his direction and story telling abilities were not a one time fluke with A Wednesday. The excellent acting by EVERYONE has helped the story become a well delivered package. The story is set in the heist genre where Bollywood treads to fear because very few directors are adventurous enough to mess with the well defined good vs bad guy routine propagated in our society. The only memorable heist movie I remember is Kaante and although it was entertaining with great songs, the bad guys did lose out in the end.
Not so in this movie. In addition to a great storyline, the dialogues are awesome and delivered crisply. There is this point where Anupam Kher tells Manoj Bajpai that there group of 4 were helped by other people like Jimmy Shergill and gives JS a sly look. At that time, we happily interpret it as a slur on JS's apparent gullibility but it is later that realize the full implication of the look. I will not go into details which will take away the charm of the movie - suffice to say that it was brilliant because you are hit with an unpredictability you would never expect from a typical heist movie. The background score was also good. All loose ends were tied properly.
The movie was even more fun for me because of what we managed after that. There is this so called "dhaba" in downtowns which is open till 2 am on weekends and has pretty good tea. Tea- real Indian one, not the one with tea bags - I was dying to sample it. Generally when we go to the night show, we go straight to the theatre and back home. I knew pati needs advance notice/planning for any changes to agenda (he needs to know exact order of the stores to be visited half an hour before we leave home and I am not kidding) so I tried to introduce the topic in the evening. As expected, he was not very keen on going anywhere ,first breaking routine, and second at 1 in the night. Anyway, according to new rules in the house (stemming from fights about my driving and thereby my refusal to let him drive), we took Kumar's (a close family friend who is our pseudo son) car. After the movie, I pulled the idea of tea out of my hat. Poor husband was outvoted 2 to 1- he could not protest as he was not driving and we told him he could just wait in the car if he did not want tea. Of course he did. And thankfully the tea and pakoras were really worth it, although the dhaba belonged to some angrejs. As for me, I was just amused as to how far I have come in life -there was a time when I could just get up and go anywhere, pulling in friends or being pulled by them, without any concern for time and schedule, and now I am plotting for an 'impromptu' chai!
By the way, what has happened to Manoj Bajpai? He has lost tons of weight and looks quite gaunt. I hope he is not sick.
Niraj Pandey is good - very good. He has proved that his direction and story telling abilities were not a one time fluke with A Wednesday. The excellent acting by EVERYONE has helped the story become a well delivered package. The story is set in the heist genre where Bollywood treads to fear because very few directors are adventurous enough to mess with the well defined good vs bad guy routine propagated in our society. The only memorable heist movie I remember is Kaante and although it was entertaining with great songs, the bad guys did lose out in the end.
Not so in this movie. In addition to a great storyline, the dialogues are awesome and delivered crisply. There is this point where Anupam Kher tells Manoj Bajpai that there group of 4 were helped by other people like Jimmy Shergill and gives JS a sly look. At that time, we happily interpret it as a slur on JS's apparent gullibility but it is later that realize the full implication of the look. I will not go into details which will take away the charm of the movie - suffice to say that it was brilliant because you are hit with an unpredictability you would never expect from a typical heist movie. The background score was also good. All loose ends were tied properly.
The movie was even more fun for me because of what we managed after that. There is this so called "dhaba" in downtowns which is open till 2 am on weekends and has pretty good tea. Tea- real Indian one, not the one with tea bags - I was dying to sample it. Generally when we go to the night show, we go straight to the theatre and back home. I knew pati needs advance notice/planning for any changes to agenda (he needs to know exact order of the stores to be visited half an hour before we leave home and I am not kidding) so I tried to introduce the topic in the evening. As expected, he was not very keen on going anywhere ,first breaking routine, and second at 1 in the night. Anyway, according to new rules in the house (stemming from fights about my driving and thereby my refusal to let him drive), we took Kumar's (a close family friend who is our pseudo son) car. After the movie, I pulled the idea of tea out of my hat. Poor husband was outvoted 2 to 1- he could not protest as he was not driving and we told him he could just wait in the car if he did not want tea. Of course he did. And thankfully the tea and pakoras were really worth it, although the dhaba belonged to some angrejs. As for me, I was just amused as to how far I have come in life -there was a time when I could just get up and go anywhere, pulling in friends or being pulled by them, without any concern for time and schedule, and now I am plotting for an 'impromptu' chai!
By the way, what has happened to Manoj Bajpai? He has lost tons of weight and looks quite gaunt. I hope he is not sick.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Race 2
Really? Race? Did I miss it?
Talk about building hype and major letdowns. This movie should have been a sure hit - it had all the ingredients to build on the success of Race 1- the same crew and almost same cast with a gorgeous addition of John Abraham. But, instead, this movie is a lesson in how to bungle sure success.
There was no race in a movie called race. Not even a simple bicycle race. I am not sure if the mindless "kushti" was supposed to be a substitute for race. I would rather see JA smile than naked (yes, his smile is that cute and I am not really into that much muscle). Instead we were 'treated' to an almost naked JA doing very yucky things. Kushti, of all things? Why, why, why? The only obvious reason is JA and they could have very well put him in a sexy scene if that was the only point. At least I would have got to see him smile.
Even the songs were not 'racy'. There wasn't a single catchy tune unlike the first movie. The only good tune was the replay of the song from the first movie.
The only good thing about the movie similar to the first movie was the convoluted plot of who knew what. The director, producer, writer all were same for both movies. I find it hard to believe that the same team can come up with two extremes.
Another addition to life's disappointments.
Talk about building hype and major letdowns. This movie should have been a sure hit - it had all the ingredients to build on the success of Race 1- the same crew and almost same cast with a gorgeous addition of John Abraham. But, instead, this movie is a lesson in how to bungle sure success.
There was no race in a movie called race. Not even a simple bicycle race. I am not sure if the mindless "kushti" was supposed to be a substitute for race. I would rather see JA smile than naked (yes, his smile is that cute and I am not really into that much muscle). Instead we were 'treated' to an almost naked JA doing very yucky things. Kushti, of all things? Why, why, why? The only obvious reason is JA and they could have very well put him in a sexy scene if that was the only point. At least I would have got to see him smile.
Even the songs were not 'racy'. There wasn't a single catchy tune unlike the first movie. The only good tune was the replay of the song from the first movie.
The only good thing about the movie similar to the first movie was the convoluted plot of who knew what. The director, producer, writer all were same for both movies. I find it hard to believe that the same team can come up with two extremes.
Another addition to life's disappointments.
Happy Valentine's Day
Alert (to me) - This is a crib post, an aberration to my new year plans.
I have never really taken to the concept of Valentine's Day. I feel that it focuses more on romantic love, literally ignoring family and friends whose love make up the fabric of our lives. Anyway, the feeling of mild contempt for the day has now morphed into full blown dislike and hatred and I think it is time I said this aloud.
I don't like any references to romantic love because they remind me of my failures at relationships. I can console myself with my various achievements in life against odds, remember all the valid reasons I failed, but in the end at the back of my mind are the words "I have failed". And failure is not acceptable to me. I have always had a very strict code of conduct defined for myself and have made personal decisions on what is acceptable or not. Most of the times my personal rules have gone against those accepted by society but I have never let it faze me because I have believed in myself. But this failure shakes my belief in myself - more so because not only I failed, but I committed the bigger sin of not trying again. I failed my standards many times but I have always been safe in the knowledge that I faced my fears and gave my best which is a good substitute for failure in my book. But again, here I know that I did not give my best because I turned a coward and took the easy way out.
I know from my talks with friends who have been in similar situations that this feeling of failure is normal. It intensifies because society ignores all your accomplishments and focuses on your failure - thus mirroring and reinforcing the conflict in your heart instead of soothing the hurt over. But, all this head matter does not help because even a "strong" person like me cannot always force the heart to follow the head.
To say that I was surprised by myself would be an understatement as I observed my reactions to this day. People in office were sharing anecdotes about how their spouses had proposed to them etc. and everybody had a loving memory to share. Utlimately, I was pulled into the discussion in spite of my best efforts to avoid doing so. My already black mood had deteriorated rapidly and I ended up giving a very cynical account of arranged marriages which was not a good thing on my part. I was shocked to see how biased and bitter I was.
All these negative thoughts were not the end of a bad day. As I was leaving office, I almost had an accident at a left turn. It was TOTALLY my fault. I was not paying attention since it was a very easily navigated road and got distracted when somebody yielded to me out of turn. I was thinking about all that had happened in office. Luckily, the other lady stopped just in time, otherwise my past would have literally ended up affecting my future!!
I realised I needed to put this into words and see those words so that I can try to achieve 'closure' and 'deal' with it. This is high time I ended all this drama going around in my head. I recently read that forgiveness is a key to closure and I really understand it now. However, I have always been very quick to forgive others but it has always been very difficult for me to forgive myself. Maybe, it is time I tried to learn the lesson in self forgiveness.
I started writing this on 15th and have finished it on 21st :)
I have never really taken to the concept of Valentine's Day. I feel that it focuses more on romantic love, literally ignoring family and friends whose love make up the fabric of our lives. Anyway, the feeling of mild contempt for the day has now morphed into full blown dislike and hatred and I think it is time I said this aloud.
I don't like any references to romantic love because they remind me of my failures at relationships. I can console myself with my various achievements in life against odds, remember all the valid reasons I failed, but in the end at the back of my mind are the words "I have failed". And failure is not acceptable to me. I have always had a very strict code of conduct defined for myself and have made personal decisions on what is acceptable or not. Most of the times my personal rules have gone against those accepted by society but I have never let it faze me because I have believed in myself. But this failure shakes my belief in myself - more so because not only I failed, but I committed the bigger sin of not trying again. I failed my standards many times but I have always been safe in the knowledge that I faced my fears and gave my best which is a good substitute for failure in my book. But again, here I know that I did not give my best because I turned a coward and took the easy way out.
I know from my talks with friends who have been in similar situations that this feeling of failure is normal. It intensifies because society ignores all your accomplishments and focuses on your failure - thus mirroring and reinforcing the conflict in your heart instead of soothing the hurt over. But, all this head matter does not help because even a "strong" person like me cannot always force the heart to follow the head.
To say that I was surprised by myself would be an understatement as I observed my reactions to this day. People in office were sharing anecdotes about how their spouses had proposed to them etc. and everybody had a loving memory to share. Utlimately, I was pulled into the discussion in spite of my best efforts to avoid doing so. My already black mood had deteriorated rapidly and I ended up giving a very cynical account of arranged marriages which was not a good thing on my part. I was shocked to see how biased and bitter I was.
All these negative thoughts were not the end of a bad day. As I was leaving office, I almost had an accident at a left turn. It was TOTALLY my fault. I was not paying attention since it was a very easily navigated road and got distracted when somebody yielded to me out of turn. I was thinking about all that had happened in office. Luckily, the other lady stopped just in time, otherwise my past would have literally ended up affecting my future!!
I realised I needed to put this into words and see those words so that I can try to achieve 'closure' and 'deal' with it. This is high time I ended all this drama going around in my head. I recently read that forgiveness is a key to closure and I really understand it now. However, I have always been very quick to forgive others but it has always been very difficult for me to forgive myself. Maybe, it is time I tried to learn the lesson in self forgiveness.
I started writing this on 15th and have finished it on 21st :)
Monday, February 11, 2013
The Perfect Valentines Gift
Valentines Day here is almost a festival right from childhood. All the kids in the class bring cards and gifts for everyone. And the kids have a pizza party at school. I do appreciate the fact that they celebrate it but I wonder why it is expected that the parents will foot the bill to get gifts for everyone in the class. I would think a better way to celebrate the day would be to help the kids make cards or relevant crafts themselves. But anyway, as usual, I am digressing away from the point.
So, as a build up to the big day, each of the kids in the class was asked to name what they loved most. It seems Simba loves snow, not because he actually loves it but because Sarah said that she loves snow. The guy is a player right from childhood. He already has a crush on one of his teachers and now the poor girls are falling under his spell. When it was Beth's turn, she said that she loves her 'Ant' and her brother the best.
Although I would prefer not be an "ant", I have been walking on clouds since I heard this. The gift of innocent love is the best one ever....
So, as a build up to the big day, each of the kids in the class was asked to name what they loved most. It seems Simba loves snow, not because he actually loves it but because Sarah said that she loves snow. The guy is a player right from childhood. He already has a crush on one of his teachers and now the poor girls are falling under his spell. When it was Beth's turn, she said that she loves her 'Ant' and her brother the best.
Although I would prefer not be an "ant", I have been walking on clouds since I heard this. The gift of innocent love is the best one ever....
Friday, February 08, 2013
F. T. #8 - The new fangled learning
Incidents from my MBA Course which pop up in my mind these days:
Number 1:
I do not remember the full course name now but it had something to do with theatre. I took that course mainly because it sounded like all play and no work and was worth half a credit. And we had some real fun times with classes in the lawns where we had to act out stuff which obviously ended in laughter sessions. I especially remember the time when we had to act out the various 'rasas' (hasya - laughter, bhaya - fear, love, etc). All the acts turned out to be hasya rasas since everybody would end up laughing, esp for our performance where we did a very poor rendition of the "kata hath" incident from childhood to show the fear rasa. But the kata hath story is a different post.
Our prof (very pedantic attitude which went very well with his big belly) was talking about the rasas as far as I remember. We were in class and people were being called to the front to act out scenes. I have always been a preferred back bencher which means that I occasionally get caught for chit chatting and not paying attention. Anyway, I was called and I removed my glasses (learning the American term for specs) to act out my punishment. The prof was in full pedantic mode and decided to make me an example by talking about how I depicted the 'shringar' rasa when I took off my glasses before going to the stage. He seemed so pleased with himself that I did not inform him that I am one of the few people how have plus eye power at an young age and need glasses for reading and have to remove them when talking or doing anything else! I remember this incident whenever somebody comes to my desk to talk and I have to remove my glasses to focus on them.
Number 2:
This was in a "Leadership for Managerial Effectiveness" (or some similar nonsense) class. This course was even more fun than the theatre course. However, I think there were some of us who were just not good candidates for the course mainly because we did not believe in it. Anyway, we had this exercise one day where we were supposed to lie down on the floor, close our eyes and let our minds wander guided by our subconcious response to some keywords which would be later analyzed. In this case, we were supposed to imagine a house and some creatures. Now, I have been a stickler for "correct" English usage from childhood (my sister used to say I was descended from Shakespeare and Milton). It is funny because "correct" usage in my case stems more from my endless book reading rather than a correct grasp of the confusing world of English grammar. Anyway when I was asked to think of creatures, I promptly thought about goblins, elfs and others of similar ilk. Turns out the teacher was referring to animals and the interpretation would be loyalty for dogs, usefulness for cows etc etc. Not only she did not have any interpretation for my elf and goblins, I distinctly got the impression that I was accused of deliberately distracting the class. I remember this incident when the kids sing the Halloween song about 'ghosts and goblins'.
Number 1:
I do not remember the full course name now but it had something to do with theatre. I took that course mainly because it sounded like all play and no work and was worth half a credit. And we had some real fun times with classes in the lawns where we had to act out stuff which obviously ended in laughter sessions. I especially remember the time when we had to act out the various 'rasas' (hasya - laughter, bhaya - fear, love, etc). All the acts turned out to be hasya rasas since everybody would end up laughing, esp for our performance where we did a very poor rendition of the "kata hath" incident from childhood to show the fear rasa. But the kata hath story is a different post.
Our prof (very pedantic attitude which went very well with his big belly) was talking about the rasas as far as I remember. We were in class and people were being called to the front to act out scenes. I have always been a preferred back bencher which means that I occasionally get caught for chit chatting and not paying attention. Anyway, I was called and I removed my glasses (learning the American term for specs) to act out my punishment. The prof was in full pedantic mode and decided to make me an example by talking about how I depicted the 'shringar' rasa when I took off my glasses before going to the stage. He seemed so pleased with himself that I did not inform him that I am one of the few people how have plus eye power at an young age and need glasses for reading and have to remove them when talking or doing anything else! I remember this incident whenever somebody comes to my desk to talk and I have to remove my glasses to focus on them.
Number 2:
This was in a "Leadership for Managerial Effectiveness" (or some similar nonsense) class. This course was even more fun than the theatre course. However, I think there were some of us who were just not good candidates for the course mainly because we did not believe in it. Anyway, we had this exercise one day where we were supposed to lie down on the floor, close our eyes and let our minds wander guided by our subconcious response to some keywords which would be later analyzed. In this case, we were supposed to imagine a house and some creatures. Now, I have been a stickler for "correct" English usage from childhood (my sister used to say I was descended from Shakespeare and Milton). It is funny because "correct" usage in my case stems more from my endless book reading rather than a correct grasp of the confusing world of English grammar. Anyway when I was asked to think of creatures, I promptly thought about goblins, elfs and others of similar ilk. Turns out the teacher was referring to animals and the interpretation would be loyalty for dogs, usefulness for cows etc etc. Not only she did not have any interpretation for my elf and goblins, I distinctly got the impression that I was accused of deliberately distracting the class. I remember this incident when the kids sing the Halloween song about 'ghosts and goblins'.
Sunday, February 03, 2013
The Life of Pi
It is definitely a thought provoking, sub concious touching movie. But I am not going to discuss the movie - I felt this movie is a very private experience for each one of us, in the sense that the reaction and thoughts it evokes in us is a mirror to our deepest feelings and relationship with God, something which is very very private.
What I really want to write about is the concept of "Goodbye" which was brought up in the movie. I first learnt the actual meaning of the word in Std 5 or 6. Till then I used to think that it was just another word for bye. But it actually means 'bye for good' - the final farewell, for ever and ever. I still remember the way it shook me up. At that time I did not know that unfortunately, all of us have to live this word over and over and over again, so much so that sometimes life feels like a series of goodbyes.
Thinking of goodbyes automatically leads me to think about the concept of "closure". Like all sensible Indian people, I used to have a very condescending attitude towards psychology. In fact, I am still not sold on the idea of shrinks but that is a different story. I always thought that closure is just a fancy term. If something has ended, it has ended. If a relationship has gone kaput, whatever you do in your mind, however you try to close it, the end result is not going to change. That relationship is gone and it is going to stay that way. All the talk of 'dealing' with it was just stuff and nonsense started by the western world for me.
But, now that I am older and on the wrong side of 30, I am not that skeptical. I have seen myself going over and over some episodes of my life - dissecting it till it is beyond threadbare and I began to wonder if there is something to the concept after all. After I watched the movie, I pondered for days about what Irfan Khan says in the movie. He said the thing which he felt most about in the whole episode was that he did not get to say goodbye to Richard Parker.
And when I look back to the broken relationships in my life, whether it is for friends, family or professional, it is right - the ones which pained me the most are where I did not say goodbye. But, there is one part of my heart and mind which does not believe this concept still. I am still skeptical, although to a lesser degree. In the instances where I did not say goodbye, I dont think that it would have made any difference - the mourning for close relationships never end. In the instances where I did, things were at an impasse and there was nothing left in the relationships to mourn.
Well, maybe 20 years down the line, I will think differently. Meanwhile, my question is, why did the author set the story in the Indian context?
What I really want to write about is the concept of "Goodbye" which was brought up in the movie. I first learnt the actual meaning of the word in Std 5 or 6. Till then I used to think that it was just another word for bye. But it actually means 'bye for good' - the final farewell, for ever and ever. I still remember the way it shook me up. At that time I did not know that unfortunately, all of us have to live this word over and over and over again, so much so that sometimes life feels like a series of goodbyes.
Thinking of goodbyes automatically leads me to think about the concept of "closure". Like all sensible Indian people, I used to have a very condescending attitude towards psychology. In fact, I am still not sold on the idea of shrinks but that is a different story. I always thought that closure is just a fancy term. If something has ended, it has ended. If a relationship has gone kaput, whatever you do in your mind, however you try to close it, the end result is not going to change. That relationship is gone and it is going to stay that way. All the talk of 'dealing' with it was just stuff and nonsense started by the western world for me.
But, now that I am older and on the wrong side of 30, I am not that skeptical. I have seen myself going over and over some episodes of my life - dissecting it till it is beyond threadbare and I began to wonder if there is something to the concept after all. After I watched the movie, I pondered for days about what Irfan Khan says in the movie. He said the thing which he felt most about in the whole episode was that he did not get to say goodbye to Richard Parker.
And when I look back to the broken relationships in my life, whether it is for friends, family or professional, it is right - the ones which pained me the most are where I did not say goodbye. But, there is one part of my heart and mind which does not believe this concept still. I am still skeptical, although to a lesser degree. In the instances where I did not say goodbye, I dont think that it would have made any difference - the mourning for close relationships never end. In the instances where I did, things were at an impasse and there was nothing left in the relationships to mourn.
Well, maybe 20 years down the line, I will think differently. Meanwhile, my question is, why did the author set the story in the Indian context?
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