End of an Era

It is truly the end of an era....As I write this, Aparajita is getting married. And although I could not make it to the wedding (did not even think of making it!), she has been in my thoughts since morning. She was the last surviving member in our singles group and now she is leaving me all alone - to bear the jealous barbs of all the married people! A couple of days back, we were chatting -she had just come back after seeing our college and we started reminiscing. It was then that we realized that our friendship went back 11 years. 11 years of active friendship (by active, I mean there are no gaps in between - you are always in touch!) is no mean feat!!! And to top it all, we have never really fought! And I am a person very hard not to fight with....So, all credit goes to A for a job well done.

I still remember the first time we met. I - a loud, brazen, overconfident girl - she a timid, shy, tiny child seeming to shrink within herself. It was at this moment that one of the binding factors of our friendship - opposites attract came into force. She got someone to hold on to in the first few months of intensive ragging and a new atmosphere and my protectionist feelings got a subject. I still remember that year.

3 girls in a class with 72 boys. how we used to hate the first bench which was always kept empty for us. Until one day, I decided to revolt and Anju and Aparajita both fully supported me. and from that day we became firm back benchers.

The mechanics class in which Anju and Aparajita were sent out of class for laughing. In truth, it was I who had started the laughing fit, but I got off simply because I used to give answers in that class. Actually the blame should go to the guy (have forgotten his name) with Roll no 60 - he used to say 'Ass Sir' instead of 'Yes Sir' and I, of course, had to draw everybody's attention to it.

How the two Ds used to fight over me - and Aparajita used to scold me for even talking to either of them. I would like to reiterate that I encouraged neither of them!! (She will read this and give one more caustic comment)

That guy (was it Roll no 10?) - bichara he was so interested in A - and I had gone and scolded him in front of the class - back then, A was not the tiger she is now - still she found the courage to speak out and support me.

The endless study sessions - where all we ever did was rub Sensor oil into our foreheads - which I am sure never had any effect

And then when we both were resigned to the fact that we would never live in the same city again, God (or rather, Satyam) sent me to Chennai.

I still remember how we got up early one morning, took my Activa and went to Mahabalipuram via the ECR. And how, while returning I suddenly felt the scooterette wobble and realised that madam had slept off on the pillion!

The late night shows in Satyam, and how A and S used to giggle all the way back home -just because A ko touch karne se gudgudi hoti thi

Our weekly grocery shopping and the watermelon we used to carry with so much care

Lunch - for which we used to meet - earlier I think to eat at A's office and later at home (or vice versa). And how once both of us slept off after lunch and reached office after 3!

The night soirees at Besant Nagar beach - I always remember it when I am at a beach. And how she never answered her phone there as her parents would realize that two girls were out on the beach late at night!

How the last 10 days of the month were dependent on the credit card. And that never stopped us from eating out.

How she has consistently hated all my boyfriends!

Thank you for the Chicago/Bloomington trip - An unforgettable trip - being driven around like a VIP! The best gift on that trip was I getting a chance of not having to be in charge and sitting back and relaxing. A very difficult thing to imagine - given our natures.

A very special gift on that trip was the food cooked by A. I remember the fun and frustration we had while teaching her to cook and how she used to learn the order in which we put the masalas and then scold us if we happened to change the order (who in the world notices if you put haldi or mirchi powder first?)! And then, when I went to meet her (and of course, she paid all the expenses) - a lovely, tasty, well cooked dinner awaited me. It is one of my most special moments ever.

Sorry for the Goa trip - I promise to make it up provided your pati can spare you to me for a couple of days. Hope you do not have to ask permission for the daru!

And yes, your stupid friend took my copy of 'The Promise' and never returned it. You have to gift me another copy.

Although, it was our opposite nature which brought us together, I would like to believe that it is our similarity in thinking and views which kept us together. Our love for freedom of thoughts, choice, belief in giving a person the space to lead life as they choose and the refusal to judge a person based on what we (or even the society) consider right or wrong. Maybe this is the reason, she has always understood me and I have never had to struggle to put across what I am thinking. We also share the sense of adventure and of trying things out - and she has always been with me in these things in spite of constant phone calls from home (easy for me - I had no one to answer to, but she had to give constant imaginary updates).

And biggest of all, thank you for never telling me 'You should really get married now'.

But, one glaring opposite still exists - and for which I salute her today. She had the courage and belief to take that leap of faith which a girl of our context would find hard to do. I would never even think of it :-) She is marrying a guy she has never seen and the first time she would have seen him is today when he would have come with the baraat (and I have not even been able to talk to her for her reaction!). Fighting for our rights is easy to do in our genre - it is giving in wholly for people you love which truly requires greatness of mind and spirit......and I, who have not been able to convince myself to marry guys I have known for years, admire the mind which agrees to marrying a guy you have not even met. I, who refuses to leave Pune after marriage - has to admire the spirit which agrees to uprooting everything and settling down in an entirely different country and culture.

I have had sole claim to A for the past 11 years (her not having a boyfriend helped!). She has always been mine - a fact acknowledged and accepted by everyone. And I hate the thought of giving up my claim - but this is something I have to do -all good things must come to an end and therefore you have marriage. As A says - I run away faster from married friends than they would even think of - which is true in a way - my motto is always to 'forget them before they forget you'. But A is something which I can never forget - she is a part of my very being and of what I am.

See you after the break. I am just a missed call away and I will be waiting for you :-)
And today, I will sign your guest book also!

Three cheers for a cherished friend, loving daughter, beloved sister. And don't worry, I will have your share of the Margharita this weekend.
Wishing Aparajita and Sunil a very happy married life.

Visit the Wedding Site

P.S - The post title is inspired by what Rachel and Monica believe to be when Monica announces that Chandler is moving in with her.