Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one:
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods:
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

- W. H. Auden

So now I know what "Good Bye" really feels like.....There have been a lot of good byes in life but the heart always believed that it was not a real good bye, but an 'Adieu - bye till we meet again'; maybe because you knew that the circumstances(or the state of heart and mind) had a decent probability of coming together again. In your innermost heart, you never really accepted that this was the end... In some instances, it was just a 'Bye' and later on, as time passed, you realised that what you thought had been a 'Bye' had actually been a 'Good Bye'......

But now, when I know that there is nothing in this world (and maybe in fantasy too) which will ever bring back what I have lost and am losing. But, human beings are resilient and the HOPE of a better and happier tomorrow, a better acceptance of today, and a better remembrance and understanding of yesterday is what makes us go on with life, in spite of everything.
I dont know what helps me face each day, even knowing that each sunrise takes me further away from what I have loved.....and the hope that this unknown force will not desert me makes me go on, in spite of everything....
And this is what makes me come back to my blog, in spite of everything........ (even if it is a pity that I write such thoughts after a 3 month hiatus)