When we were young and in the phase of just passing out of college and starting life - we wanted everything on our own terms. We had unlimited confidence in our abilities and there was nothing we could not achieve in life.
And then, real life hit us. Things happened to us without any fault of ours. We lost loved ones, loved dreams, loved goals never to regain them. And sometimes regain them only when you have lost all 'chaah' and their significance in our life has become negligible (if not negative). The wounds in our heart hurt all the more because there was nothing we could have done to prevent them - it was NOT IN OUR HANDS. This realization of things being beyond our control - our life being governed by factors which we do not fully comprehend is one of the moments of truth in everyone's life. This is when we start wondering about DESTINY.
DESTINY a word with which we can be happy only when we accept its supremacy with all humility. It is tough on you till the day you try to fight it and then sometimes soften when you least expect it. And it was reinforced today.
I have been having a lot of problems in my professional life due to reasons mainly beyond my control. I was doing zero value adding work which I did not like, did not get a good appraisal, a deserved (in my opinion!) promotion and the worst part was that I knew the gaps but fixing them depended on someone else. I tried to reason, cajole, force this someone but of no avail. I mourned the days gone by when there was someone else who took care of these things before I could think of them. Finally, after a lot of useless thrashing about, I finally resigned myself to the state of affairs and after the usual bout of depression, started to try again without a lot of hope.
And then suddenly, things changed. Today, that person is no longer a part of my work environment. And God, in his graceful, dayawan mood, not only removed this person but gave a replacement on whom I had given up and had never ever thought of getting a chance to work with ever again. Bhagwan ne khayi se nikala hi nahi, zameen ke badle seedhe asmaan tak le gaye.
All this happened withOUT any input from my side. And that brings me back to my basic problem. This incident screams at me "Trust in God" - which is a very difficult thing for someone who has always done every thing herself and is unable to ask for help even for small things. Maybe God wants me to learn the concept of implicit trust before he marries me off :-) Thank you God. Apki kripa bani rahe. And I hope you are not planning to drop me from asmaan anytime soon. AMEN.
P.S. - This reminds me of "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans......"
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