Any guesses for what I did?
If I had been asked to guess, I would have said that I got a promotion (would it be a guess or a wish?) but unfortunately it is nothing that wonderful.
It is not even getting married because that happened sometime back and it was more of "I did it FINALLY" rather than a rookha sookha "I did it".
What I am actually proud of having done is completing 6 months of my marriage without a "SINGLE" fight. Knowing myself and my tendency to fight and be stubborn, I would have been happy with less - passing 6 months without any "major" fight would have been enough for me. But "no fight at all" is a big achievement for me. I try to think that it is because we live apart and there are not many opportunities to fight if you dont live together. But, that is not true. In the past, distance has never been a consideration for me to stop fighting. In fact, I have been more difficult to be with in that case because generally it is difficult to understand what I am thinking and whether I am mad or not. So, then people used to say that long distance relationships are difficult and so you fight so much. But, I knew myself. I think I could/would/should have made it work if I had really wanted. This was a big admission for me and I admitted it to myself after a lot of water had flown under the bridge. And by the time I accepted it, all the water had reached the sea! At least that is what I think in hindsight but as we all know hindsight is very wise.
After all this realization and yet another long period of introspection, I had promised myself that I would never lose the lesson although I lost the cause. So, I stopped fighting for a lost cause and tried to pick up all the lessons. I hope I am a wiser person now. And more importantly a much easier person to be with now.
It is not that I have not got opportunities to create a scene or exchange words. There have been many of them. I have had raging battles for much lesser causes than this. But I try to ignore them to concentrate on the bigger picture. I think an important part of it is trying not to force your views on a person or trying to change them according to how you want them. I remember that I had not been ready to change while wanting the other person to understand and accept all my views. Well, I dont think that I am that amenable to change even now but now I dont try to force them to accept me. Now, I do not care about their acceptance and try to keep things such that both of us are comfortable with our differences.
And I dont think that I have become a new leaf yet. It is a long process and I am still in the turning over process (how do such tiny leaves take so much time to turn?) but I do hope that I will learn from my mistakes and keep on improving.
BTW, this is a happy occasion so I will stop all this introsepction. Every month on 22nd my husband gives me good wishes and congratulations. I now know what the congratulations is about!! And every month I forget the date however much I try to keep it in mind. I just hope that I dont ever forget our anniversary!!
Happy Semi Anniversary to US
If I had been asked to guess, I would have said that I got a promotion (would it be a guess or a wish?) but unfortunately it is nothing that wonderful.
It is not even getting married because that happened sometime back and it was more of "I did it FINALLY" rather than a rookha sookha "I did it".
What I am actually proud of having done is completing 6 months of my marriage without a "SINGLE" fight. Knowing myself and my tendency to fight and be stubborn, I would have been happy with less - passing 6 months without any "major" fight would have been enough for me. But "no fight at all" is a big achievement for me. I try to think that it is because we live apart and there are not many opportunities to fight if you dont live together. But, that is not true. In the past, distance has never been a consideration for me to stop fighting. In fact, I have been more difficult to be with in that case because generally it is difficult to understand what I am thinking and whether I am mad or not. So, then people used to say that long distance relationships are difficult and so you fight so much. But, I knew myself. I think I could/would/should have made it work if I had really wanted. This was a big admission for me and I admitted it to myself after a lot of water had flown under the bridge. And by the time I accepted it, all the water had reached the sea! At least that is what I think in hindsight but as we all know hindsight is very wise.
After all this realization and yet another long period of introspection, I had promised myself that I would never lose the lesson although I lost the cause. So, I stopped fighting for a lost cause and tried to pick up all the lessons. I hope I am a wiser person now. And more importantly a much easier person to be with now.
It is not that I have not got opportunities to create a scene or exchange words. There have been many of them. I have had raging battles for much lesser causes than this. But I try to ignore them to concentrate on the bigger picture. I think an important part of it is trying not to force your views on a person or trying to change them according to how you want them. I remember that I had not been ready to change while wanting the other person to understand and accept all my views. Well, I dont think that I am that amenable to change even now but now I dont try to force them to accept me. Now, I do not care about their acceptance and try to keep things such that both of us are comfortable with our differences.
And I dont think that I have become a new leaf yet. It is a long process and I am still in the turning over process (how do such tiny leaves take so much time to turn?) but I do hope that I will learn from my mistakes and keep on improving.
BTW, this is a happy occasion so I will stop all this introsepction. Every month on 22nd my husband gives me good wishes and congratulations. I now know what the congratulations is about!! And every month I forget the date however much I try to keep it in mind. I just hope that I dont ever forget our anniversary!!
Happy Semi Anniversary to US
1 comment:
A very Happy Semi Anniversary Deepti! Chicago aane ka kuch plan banao tum dono..
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