My new year eve was unique! I have never attended any party at MDI.....and i felt it was high time i did....or else i wud be out of college and wud have missed out on the whole lot of masala incidents happening out there!! Dancing and disco on new year for me had always been a promise made and thoughtlessly broken (by me) and i felt it was high time to wipe that slate clean too......
I determinedly gave my attendance right at the beginning so that i wud not miss the pakodas and drinks....but my whole experience was entirely unexpected and has made me stop and take stock of what i think of my life, my values and where am i actually headed.
No, i have not become madder....let me explain.....i simply could not identify with the ppl out there! Either I am too old to appreciate this type of celebration or culturally too different! Yeah, i agree drinking and smoking is not "bad" or "taboo".....but am i wrong in thinking that we are too old to behave irresponsibly and should do both in moderation.... Was i the odd one out in finding the scene gross??? Why do i find ppl getting hopelessly drunk and behaving improperly distasteful? Am i too rigid in my beliefs and values? I think that i belong to some other generation....but i really believe that this kind of behaviour is pardonable only in graduation kids and not in supposedly "mature" ppl like us...be it girls or boys.....
i really wonder if any of these ppl would be ashamed of their behaviour tomo or is it only me who is taking this so seriously....but i can own frankly that seeing my friends drunk made them lose respect in my eyes.....we are always responsible for our actions and if we cannot drink responsibly then maybe its high time we moderated it......I finally walked out of the party before i lost all respect for my friends.....
Well that apart, i had a fun time watching other ppl behave in the way they did! Its fun being on the sidelines and watch other ppl making fools of themselves!! But yes, it felt really weird on not getting any messages or calls on new year....i realised today how much i have isolated myself...earlier i used to be so busy taking calls and exchanging sms....today i was the only one not on phone at midnight.....well this is smthg i need to get used to if i plan to remain single.....
So the bottom line becomes that i dont identify with the ppl i am with and the ppl i used to identify with are no longer a part of my life! I think that i am stuck with the values of an older generation in the culture of an younger generation....it is not a part of my values to celebrate by losing ur dignity....i guess i am getting old!!
Ppl say that u should start every year afresh but when the DJ played "koi kahe kahta rahe" and "summer of 69", i was transported bak to what seemed like an era ago and made the new year look like just another year which has to borne thru! But i am determined not to fall in the old trap and i promise myself that i ll try to live this year on my terms whatever that entails...its time i started living for myself...only if to make all the sacrifices worth it.....only if to prove to myself that i dont care for the things loved and lost....only if to reconfirm to myself that i can not compromise and still be happy......only if to enjoy life as singles can before i am forced into matrimony.....
P.S. I confess that i have been drunk and out of control once but in my defence i can only say that it was a deliberate experiment withing a small group to judge how far alcohol helped! And i can proudly say that i have been a responsible drinker ever since (though to my dismay i have not able to induce myself to drink for the last 2-3 times....)
I determinedly gave my attendance right at the beginning so that i wud not miss the pakodas and drinks....but my whole experience was entirely unexpected and has made me stop and take stock of what i think of my life, my values and where am i actually headed.
No, i have not become madder....let me explain.....i simply could not identify with the ppl out there! Either I am too old to appreciate this type of celebration or culturally too different! Yeah, i agree drinking and smoking is not "bad" or "taboo".....but am i wrong in thinking that we are too old to behave irresponsibly and should do both in moderation.... Was i the odd one out in finding the scene gross??? Why do i find ppl getting hopelessly drunk and behaving improperly distasteful? Am i too rigid in my beliefs and values? I think that i belong to some other generation....but i really believe that this kind of behaviour is pardonable only in graduation kids and not in supposedly "mature" ppl like us...be it girls or boys.....
i really wonder if any of these ppl would be ashamed of their behaviour tomo or is it only me who is taking this so seriously....but i can own frankly that seeing my friends drunk made them lose respect in my eyes.....we are always responsible for our actions and if we cannot drink responsibly then maybe its high time we moderated it......I finally walked out of the party before i lost all respect for my friends.....
Well that apart, i had a fun time watching other ppl behave in the way they did! Its fun being on the sidelines and watch other ppl making fools of themselves!! But yes, it felt really weird on not getting any messages or calls on new year....i realised today how much i have isolated myself...earlier i used to be so busy taking calls and exchanging sms....today i was the only one not on phone at midnight.....well this is smthg i need to get used to if i plan to remain single.....
So the bottom line becomes that i dont identify with the ppl i am with and the ppl i used to identify with are no longer a part of my life! I think that i am stuck with the values of an older generation in the culture of an younger generation....it is not a part of my values to celebrate by losing ur dignity....i guess i am getting old!!
Ppl say that u should start every year afresh but when the DJ played "koi kahe kahta rahe" and "summer of 69", i was transported bak to what seemed like an era ago and made the new year look like just another year which has to borne thru! But i am determined not to fall in the old trap and i promise myself that i ll try to live this year on my terms whatever that entails...its time i started living for myself...only if to make all the sacrifices worth it.....only if to prove to myself that i dont care for the things loved and lost....only if to reconfirm to myself that i can not compromise and still be happy......only if to enjoy life as singles can before i am forced into matrimony.....
P.S. I confess that i have been drunk and out of control once but in my defence i can only say that it was a deliberate experiment withing a small group to judge how far alcohol helped! And i can proudly say that i have been a responsible drinker ever since (though to my dismay i have not able to induce myself to drink for the last 2-3 times....)
1 comment:
great gal n determined lad. India politician needs you.
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