Something had been simmering beneath the surface and Janet's email made me look at it and acknowledge it if not examine it.
My blog has always been a reflection of my moods and thoughts at that point in life. I have firmly believed in it and hence have always been honest here. And that is why, in all my deleting fits (orkut, facebook, emails, pics and buring letters and cards long ago when things were not this online) I have never touched my blog. I have never even deleted a post even though I might have regretted writing it, preferring such posts to be learnings for me - helping me be emotionally stable and never losing my cool.
Janet says that my blogs are now more about incidents and more concise. Earlier they were more about thoughts and emotions and quite long winded (not her words but my interpretation of them!). And this very aptly expresses the changes in my life post marriage. Earlier I used to have a lot of time to myself which used to be spent mostly in pondering and thinking, mostly useless but always interesting. I also love thinking about human nature and I used to do that a lot - deducing why somebody did what they did.
And now when I am in Phoenix, I barely get time to breathe. The two kids complete monopolize me. I give them full attention and service and they dont let me take time off! In Austin, since I am there for short periods, it is more like vacations and so we even do grocery together. I dont get time for myself even there since we are yet to reach the point where each of us would do their own thing alone. Also, post marriage and relocation, I am still trying to figure out where I am and where I have to go on so the mind is busy grappling with other stuff and doesnt have the "bandwidth" for the finer things in life. Either way I have to snatch moments in office to actually update my blog.
A good example which always strikes me every morning and night as I make tea. Tea is a ritual which is a must for me every morning and evening. In Pune, I would make tea and after giving Papa his cup I would some and sit on the sofa and sip mine quietly with no tv, no music, phone on silent - absolutely no sound at all. It used to be a moment of peace and quietness and these moments helped me get recharged for the day. Now, when I am in Phoenix tea is finished hurriedly along with cooking before the kids start asking for it. In Austin, of course I have it with my husband with all the normal small talk.
I miss those solitary tea days.
My blog has always been a reflection of my moods and thoughts at that point in life. I have firmly believed in it and hence have always been honest here. And that is why, in all my deleting fits (orkut, facebook, emails, pics and buring letters and cards long ago when things were not this online) I have never touched my blog. I have never even deleted a post even though I might have regretted writing it, preferring such posts to be learnings for me - helping me be emotionally stable and never losing my cool.
Janet says that my blogs are now more about incidents and more concise. Earlier they were more about thoughts and emotions and quite long winded (not her words but my interpretation of them!). And this very aptly expresses the changes in my life post marriage. Earlier I used to have a lot of time to myself which used to be spent mostly in pondering and thinking, mostly useless but always interesting. I also love thinking about human nature and I used to do that a lot - deducing why somebody did what they did.
And now when I am in Phoenix, I barely get time to breathe. The two kids complete monopolize me. I give them full attention and service and they dont let me take time off! In Austin, since I am there for short periods, it is more like vacations and so we even do grocery together. I dont get time for myself even there since we are yet to reach the point where each of us would do their own thing alone. Also, post marriage and relocation, I am still trying to figure out where I am and where I have to go on so the mind is busy grappling with other stuff and doesnt have the "bandwidth" for the finer things in life. Either way I have to snatch moments in office to actually update my blog.
A good example which always strikes me every morning and night as I make tea. Tea is a ritual which is a must for me every morning and evening. In Pune, I would make tea and after giving Papa his cup I would some and sit on the sofa and sip mine quietly with no tv, no music, phone on silent - absolutely no sound at all. It used to be a moment of peace and quietness and these moments helped me get recharged for the day. Now, when I am in Phoenix tea is finished hurriedly along with cooking before the kids start asking for it. In Austin, of course I have it with my husband with all the normal small talk.
I miss those solitary tea days.
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